The Flu Can be Spread By Sound

We’ve learned a great deal from the recent pandemic, a global disaster of apocalyptic proportions that threatened to destroy all biological life on the planet. As it turns out, we were mistaken about so many things which were once considered established truths.

For one, we learned that the government would succeed in curing the common cold, something modern medicine had failed to ever do before. The vaccines released by big pharma miraculously prevented the pandemic from being worse than it could have been. It was so effective not only did it not prevent people from getting infected, but it also did little to prevent them from infecting others. There were even side benefits such as providing the excuse “wait for the vaccine” so that people wouldn’t endanger their very lives by seeking treatment for their condition. Imagine how many suffering from diabetes could also benefit by abstaining from insulin and stop worrying about sugar intake. Such a diabetes vaccine similarly would not actually prevent someone from becoming diabetic. Waiting for the vaccine would prove to the world just how deadly diabetes actually is and how good vaccines can be to make people feel better about the CDC and the WHO. Not to mention the financial benefit to big pharma because of all boosters and follow-up vaccines.

Secondly, we found out that medicine was wrong about “one size doesn’t fit all”. In fact, as the VAERS findings grow, the more we can appreciate the Pollyanish simplicity of knowing that everyone, no matter who you are, even if you are unborn, can benefit from the very same vaccine. In fact, we also now know for a fact that it would be foolish to ever look for a second opinion or dare question your doctor. What’s the matter? Don’t you trust the science? You know, the science that has finally managed to cure the common cold. How dare anyone challenge an entity with such omniscience?

So, it also should come as no surprise, after being told repeatedly that singing is a “super spreader” activity, making it the single, most dangerous activity one could ever participate in during a pandemic, that viruses and other biological diseases can actually be transmitted by means of recorded sound being played through headphones or speakers. How do we know this? It’s simple. Sound is transmitted by sound waves passing through the air. What else is airborne? Why, viruses and other infectious diseases, of course! You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to make the connection. The logic is identical to the arguments used during the Inquisition to determine whether or not a candidate was a witch:

“Since witches are burned at the stake, they must be made of wood, since it burns as well. Wood floats on water, as do ducks. Therefore, if the woman weighs the same as a duck, she must be able to float on water, which means she is made of wood, and consequently must be a witch.”

Monty Python

So, now you know. The next time you want to listen to some music, first consider disinfecting the CD or MP3 with alcohol or Clorox. One can never be too careful when it comes to health and rationality.

“Where ignorance is bliss ‘Tis folly to be wise.”

Thomas Gray

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