Vampires, Zombies, and Plagues

Whether or not vampires and zombies actually exist is something I’m going to leave for another time, perhaps some dark and stormy night. Instead, I’d like to focus on strategies and cures traditionally associated with dealing with the undead and what benefits may be gleaned when dealing with plagues which, today, we more commonly know as epidemics and pandemics.

Disclaimer

Legal disclaimer: Let me first state that I am not medically trained and any advice offered here is just opinion and not to be construed as anything more than such. Before acting on any of my suggestions, I would urge you, gentle reader, to seek consultation with an actual physician. Also, I am not licensed to give professional advice on the undead which, if you stop and think about it, can be said about everyone else. Like many of you, I just happen to devour and consume tomes of books and movies on the subject. Let’s just say that this topic is a passion of mine that began at an early age.

Who wants to die from the plague?

To set the ball rolling, the one thing, which we can all pretty much agree on, is that nobody wants to die from having their life’s blood drained by a vampire, eaten by a zombie, or being infected by a plague. Given all the ways there are to die, these three are, at least, in the top ten as the worst. Having to choose between vampires (becoming one of the undead, eternally damned into having to survive by drinking the blood of the living, forever trapped in a nighttime world) or the walking dead (who only know of their hunger to consume brains and can never rest), neither option is a “walk in the park” no matter how romantic some movies have tried to portray it. On vampires, The Vampire Diaries (series) and The Twighlight Trilogy (movies) come to mind. On zombies, “Sean of the Dead” and “Warm Bodies” (both movies) are two examples. Those who have either personally become victims of a plague or have had to watch a family member suffer the ravages of being eaten alive by something invisible to the naked eye can hardly imagine any fate worse. Indeed, the forces at work are, at the very least, connected as some viral contagion passed from infected to uninfected. The only good thing to be said about the plague is that with death comes relief and a final resting place. Not so for the undead.

Supernatural element

The supernatural is also a common element and should be considered in this discussion. According to ancient lore, the original vampire came into being as a result of a divine curse. Similarly, there are traditions that suggest that zombies also began as a result of a curse. In West African languages, “ndzumbi” is the word for corpse. The ultimate injustice of being forced into servitude (slavery) would lead to the logical outcome: someone without a will, without a name, trapped in a living death of unending labor. Some plagues, according to scripture, also have supernatural origins. The plagues in Egypt came about because Pharoah refused to release God’s chosen people, who were being held in captivity as slaves. Perhaps the comparison isn’t as far-field as some of you imagined, eh?

Where is the benefit?

What possible benefit is there from studying supernatural lore? Well, no matter what you think about myth, legends, and lore, there is one fact that must be respected, at least to a degree. Most traditions are rooted in beliefs and mores from the cultures that spawned them. Similarly, I’ll submit, that most remedies are similarly rooted in folklore. Even today, while the medical community at large has yet to give credence to homeopathic, or natural, medical treatments, there are many allopathic doctors who see benefits from using herbs, diet, far-infrared, magnets, CBD, colloidal silver, etc. Historically, those who practice the “healing arts” apart from the official medical schools, have been shunned or ridiculed at the very least, or censured and burnt at the stake for practicing witchcraft. Indeed, it would seem that even in today’s world the topics of prevention, nutrition, natural remedies, and homeopathic treatments have no place with traditional medicine: hospitals, doctors, and nurses. Even so, most doctors will not argue against the value of essential vitamins and minerals. Wisdom, even from ancient sources, has potential benefits when heeded. What if the knowledge of the ancients, much of it destroyed or lost, surpassed the knowledge of our current generation? We assume ours is the “enlightened” time and think ourselves superior to primitive times. Maybe we are mistaking our ignorance for enlightenment. Our study of history is always coming up with surprises.

Vampires and sunlight

Vampires can’t survive in sunlight. Can you guess where I’m headed? If you are thinking vitamin D you get a brownie point and a silver star. Vitamin D isn’t just an essential vitamin, it acts like a hormone and is responsible for many metabolic processes, some having to do with healing and prevention. Not only that, but exposure to daylight causes our bodies to produce vitamin D. Just 10 minutes a day of exposure is enough time to produce our daily requirements. Unlike vampires, who shouldn’t venture out into the sunlight, we the living must do so whether we are sick or healthy. Of course, to prevent any sunburn or cancer we should limit our exposure and use sunscreen for prolonged periods of exposure.

Holy water

Water is vital to sustaining life. As humans, we can survive extended periods without eating but not without drinking. Sometimes, when dealing with apocalyptic scenarios (a vampire infestation, a zombie apocalypse, or the next global pandemic) it’s helpful to go back to basics. Holy water is simply water that has been blessed. Even without the blessing, the benefit is real. Also, it’s not enough to drink plenty of water. Your body needs electrolytes and the water should be PH balanced. Still, if you are surviving in a fallout shelter after a nuclear holocaust, beggars can’t be choosers. Water is golden and water is life. BTW, there are plenty of articles on how to not only make any water potable (drinkable) but also balance the PH (acidity vs alkalinity) and add electrolytes. Survival straws allow you to drink directly from polluted water sources.

Silver

Vampires don’t much care for silver. As it turns out, neither do many forms of bacteria. Many of you may not be aware of this but the reason the rich have silverware is for the health benefit. The other reason is that they’re rich. What you think of nowadays as silverware isn’t. Technically, we use flatware made from stainless steel. Silverware still exists but it’s costly. Yet, it’s worth every dime. The reason being the use of silverware actually introduces silver into your system. Silver ingested at that level (not actually chewing and swallowing your fork) adds to your body’s ability to fight infection. Many patients suffering from lung infections have been treated with inhalation of colloidal silver (suspended) with significant benefits.

A stake in the heart and some cloves of garlic

Your heart’s health is just as vital to you as it is to a vampire. Anything that is good for the heart is good for your health. Omega 3 and fish oil provide essential amino acids. This is where diet can also play a key role. Leafy green vegetables, whole grains, berries, avocados, fatty fish (salmon, mackerel, sardines, and tuna), walnuts, beans, dark chocolate, tomatoes, almonds, seeds, garlic, etc. Yes, garlic is beneficial for heart health. Of course, garlic isn’t something vampires care for.

Only one way to kill a zombie

Brain health is also vital. Zombies not only want to eat your brains but the only way to kill a zombie is to destroy its brain (a headshot, neck snapped, decapitation, and burning). The lesson here is that you really need to protect your brain’s health. Here’s a partial list of foods that will help keep your brain healthy:

  • Fatty fish (yep, now you have two reasons to eat fatty fish) love my salmon
  • Coffee (it’s as if they are reading my mind)
  • Blueberries
  • Turmeric (curcumin)
  • Broccoli
  • Pumpkin seeds (has zinc)
  • Dark chocolate (again, they are reading my mind)
  • Nuts
  • Oranges
  • Eggs
  • Green tea

Don’t just keep your brains — keep ’em healthy. I mentioned zinc because it’s vital for immune support. Also, antioxidants are key. Zombies personify everything wrong in our lives. Zombies only exist to live and live to exist. Zombies don’t eat to stay alive, it’s just a behavior driven by impulse. The zombie virus has only one purpose: infecting others. Zombies lack empathy, caring, love, responsibility, and ultimately, humanity. Don’t be a zombie.

March of the undead

It can be helpful to notice the similarities between zombies and most pathogens. Just like zombies, a plague depends on infecting other hosts to survive. Pathogens, like zombies, are opportunistic. The fact we are social beings works directly as a disadvantage for our species. When our loved ones become sick the natural response is to get close and provide aid. That proximity gives the virus or bacteria the means to obtain a new host, and so it spreads. Quarantines are extremely difficult and painful because, as humans, they are the direct antithesis of being social. Just as zombies herd together, marching mindlessly, we need to be smart enough to separate from those infected and protect those most vulnerable to infection by isolation and barriers.

Mindless zombies

Whenever faced with decisions affecting survivability it is important to bear in mind that using your mind can make the difference between survival and not surviving. Zombies don’t think for themselves. In fact, they don’t think at all. Zombies travel in packs with others because that doesn’t require thinking. Don’t be a zombie. Knowledge is key to survival. Anyone who attempts to mislead or keep you from knowing the truth, especially when it denies you much-needed assistance, is your enemy. It’s not enough to take someone’s word. Do your own research and preparation. Ultimately, the only person on earth you should trust to take care of you and your loved ones is yourself. Being distrustful is key to survival. In every apocalypse, you have more enemies than you imagine. Any person you meet (man, woman, or child) could also be a threat. Be loving, be caring, be human, but above all, don’t be stupid. For the lemming, their greatest threat isn’t the cliff they will follow each other, mindlessly, to their doom. It’s the fact that they don’t think for themselves.

Exploit your enemy’s weakness

Every living and nonliving thing has its own weaknesses. A good survival strategy is to learn as much as you can about your enemy and then use that knowledge to your advantage. How is the contagion spread? Is it airborne? What conditions are favorable and unfavorable for it to survive. And, using another strategy, what can you do to make yourself less of a target? What can make you resistant, if not immune? During the Ebola outbreak, the disease was only able to be quarantined by burning the contaminated and everything they touched. It is also important to distinguish between infection rate and the threat level for any contagion. Political pressure and censorship prevent me from discussing the past two years — a perfect example of how you should think for yourself and not trust the word of anyone just because they say so. We all need to be willing to adapt; tireless in our study of our enemy’s weaknesses and exploits; and determined at, any cost, to win not only the battle but the war.

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